regrets ?

oh well , yesterday was kind of sad.
edmund , feng , junren , tong and i went to send sean off to germany for his OSEP.
sean was EMOTIONLESS (well , thats what he said , but i dont think he is. he might just cry inside. HAHA !)
i slept at 3.30am and woke up at 7.15am because i had a test in the morning.
i hope i pass. dit's freaking 8th wonder is his EHEM ! pfft.
GET LOST DIT !

feng was like asking edmund how did he answer the OSEP inteview questions to clarify why i couldnt go.
then everything just struck me again.
how come sean , edmund , rachel and syafiq gets to go and not me ?
are there limits for SW students to be chosen for OSEP , or is it just me ?
i have had so many regrets in my life.
i thought that i would just nail this interview and be packing my bags and finally get to explore the world myself with other people.
BUT WAIT ! i didnt get selected.
so i guess its just me.
me. me. me. me. me. ME !

next sem , it would be sean and i sending edmund off.
get the point ? of the 3 of us. both of them went somewhere. the furthest i went was STILL IN SINGAPORE !

seriously ,
i dont know what i am able to achieve.
i am not a good tennis player.
i am not a studious person.
i suck at relationships.

OVERALL , i suck. DEAL WITH IT !
i really wonder why cant i just be shot dead now or something.
i know i would die with loads of regrets , but at least i know i dont have to worry anymore.

my life is that screwed up.
kthxbye !